I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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