I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
