after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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