sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
