Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
