Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
