oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
my mouth tastes like poor choices
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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