You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
