come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
