it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Sacagawea was the original milf.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
