I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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