respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
