meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Randomize
