i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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