I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
it's great music for shaving your balls
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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