have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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