Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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