Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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