I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
