when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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