I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
