I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
