Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
