i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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