I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
