you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize