He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
