its not stalking. its research.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize