There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Randomize
