; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
