I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
