If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize