If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
