Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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