I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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