My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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