all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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