Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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