I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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