More tranny stories later!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
