I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
