You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
