Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(224): View more from Illinois

dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks

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(785): View more from Kansas

Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?

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(607): View more from New York

So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?

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(206): View more from Washington

It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!

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(334): View more from Alabama

I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.

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(509): View more from Washington

I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.

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(443): View more from Maryland

he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome

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