Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
porn star boner night. come get it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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