You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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