Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
