He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
