The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
