I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
