I'm lost and stupid without you.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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