Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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