Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
