did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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