she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
