it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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