I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Randomize
