Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
