guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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