let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
