i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
