If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
