For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my shit smells like andre
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
