I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
