Where is the hickey?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
