make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
