im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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