quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize