Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Randomize
