ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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