the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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